Friday, September 6, 2019
Evaluating Different Sources of Information Essay Example for Free
Evaluating Different Sources of Information Essay 1. Introduction With vast access to various types of information nowadays; itââ¬â¢s important to be able to distinguish truth and accuracy. The aim of this report is to evaluate the reliability of three different sources; a policy document, academic paper and newspaper articles in regards to space, place and culture. The objectives are to compare the listed sources through highlighting the advantages and disadvantages of each source and to indicate when and how it might be appropriate to use them for a potential essay ââ¬ËThe interaction between global and local processes in the creation of ââ¬Ëplacesââ¬â¢. 2. What are Space, Place and Culture? Space and place can be seen as an absolute structure or as a social experience with meaning, these play key roles in our culture; this system of shared meaning based on everyday life is central to a sense of identity. 3. The Policy Document This policy document ââ¬ËCommunities in control: Real people, real powerââ¬â¢ is a government report based on policies or proposals of an issue. It discusses how local communities can be empowered through having more influence over local council policies and more access to information. 4.1. Advantages The policy document was written by academics and practitioners so the information is reliable; published by the Department for Communities and Local Government so we can assume that the information is accurate. Also, the document is clear, explicit and easy to understand which is important as itââ¬â¢s aimed at the general public. It was printed in July 2008 so itââ¬â¢s recent information. However, this indicates itââ¬â¢s from the previous government and changes have been made to policies due to recent budget cuts so may no longer be up to date but can still be significant when analysing the past. 4.2. Disadvantages However, the policy document may be politically biased because itââ¬â¢s a government document and also as stated on paragraph 58 page 12, ââ¬ËIn developing the White Paper, we spoke to a wide range of stakeholders who fed their comments and suggestions into policy development.ââ¬â¢ Therefore, it raises the question, who are these stakeholders and is their viewpoint biased? 4.3. How to use the source? In relation to the essay title, this policy document is useful when analysing a politically biased viewpoint and discussing the influence of political control on different groups of people. The Academic Paper Academic writing is writing done by scholars, devoted to topics and questions that are of interest to the academic community. This particular academic paper ââ¬ËA Global Sense of Placeââ¬â¢ by Doreen Massey Taken from Space, Place and Gender (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1994) discusses how globalisation is such the norm that those who have control can flourish with it but many people are imprisoned by it due to capitalism or feel at lost for a sense of belonging or identity. 4.4. Advantages Academic papers are usually written by scholars who specialize in a particular field so information which usually consists of primary data can be considered to be accurate. In addition, its peer reviewed and scrutinized by other academics so is reliable. Massey makes reference to Marxist to support her argument and provides facts about different places in order to conceptualise the journal article. The intended audience is academics/students and is fairly easy to understand. 4.5. Disadvantages Journal articles take time to collect research; this was written in 1994 which can be disadvantageous in using for the essay as concepts may no longer be up to date. However, it can be significant when comparing historical information. It appears written as a personal journal entry for example when Massey states ââ¬Ëa walk down Kilburn road, my local shopping centre.ââ¬â¢ so it can seem biased. However, Massey explores different viewpoints in order to compare the ideas. Concepts can seem implicit as the reader needs to almost visualize their own perspective. 4.6. How to use the source? As journal articles are constructed on primary data and have been scrutinized by other academics it is the most reliable source. In relation to the essay title, it would be useful to use when building arguments of different perspectives and to compare with other theories. 4. Newspaper articles Guardian article, ââ¬ËTriumph of democracyââ¬â¢ by James Harkin, (2006) informs the public about how the residents of Dingle vote to keep the name of their town, emphasising being in favour of equality and universalism rather than ethnic identities. The other Guardian article, ââ¬ËIs Paddington the Big Society in action?ââ¬â¢ by Saba Salman, (2011) informs of how Neil Johnston (PDT chief executive) and residents are helping fund and lead the regeneration of the area despite cut backs in government funds. With emphasis on how a strong community input is the back bone to surviving the cuts. 5.7. Advantages The Guardian newspaper is a reliable and popular newspaper; ââ¬Ëtriumph of democracyââ¬â¢ was written in 2006 and ââ¬ËPaddington the big societyââ¬â¢ was written in 2011, so its current and as itââ¬â¢s aimed at the general public, the information is explicit and easy to understand. 5.8. Disadvantages Information is based on mainly secondary data so itââ¬â¢s not completely reliable, especially as journalists arenââ¬â¢t not required to cite sources so no evidence provided. These particular articles seem biased as itââ¬â¢s the journalistââ¬â¢s viewpoint and Neil Johnstonââ¬â¢s viewpoint, and could also be based on newspaper ownerââ¬â¢s political goal. 5.9. How to use the source? Newspaper articles are useful when signifying current affairs or comparing historical data. 5. Conclusion Overall, through evaluating the sources it can be suggested that the policy document is politically biased and currently invalid with the change in government. The newspaper articles can be scrutinised as data is second hand and itââ¬â¢s in a biased format. The academic paper has proved most reliable as itââ¬â¢s been peer reviewed and based on primary data, despite being written in 1994 the concepts are still relevant today. However, all sources provideà different concepts of ââ¬Ëplaceââ¬â¢ and would be efficient to use to write the essay. 6. Bibliography Communities and Local Government Publications, (July 2008) ââ¬ËCommunities in control: Real people, real power,ââ¬â¢ Department for Communities and Local Government Harkin James, (2006) ââ¬ËTriumph of democracy,ââ¬â¢ The Guardian Massey Doreen, (1994) ââ¬ËA Global sense of Place,ââ¬â¢ Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, from Space, Place and Gender Salman Saba, (2011) ââ¬ËIs Paddington the big society in action?ââ¬â¢ The Guardian
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Understanding Of Sociological Concepts And Theories Sociology Essay
Understanding Of Sociological Concepts And Theories Sociology Essay This essay will demonstrate the knowledge and understanding of sociological concepts and theories related to health, illness and health care. It will also look and explain the historical and contemporary patterns of inequality in health and illness. It will also critically discuss why some people are healthier than others. It will also Discuss insight of sociological methods of research discovery and evaluate the relevant data. Sociology of health is the study between different ethnic groups and individuals in human society. The twentieth century has witnessed a rise in life expectancy for people that live in industrialized countries compared to other parts of the world the standards of health and wellbeing are quite high. Research has shown that certain groups of people tend to enjoy a much healthier life style than others. Theses health inequalities appear to be in the larger socioeconomic patterns. Sociologists have attempted to explain the link between health and the variation in social class, gender, race, age and location (Giddens 2001). Research on class and health has shown a pattern between death and illness and an individuals social class. There have been two nationwide studies on health in the United Kingdom one of theses being The Black Report in 1980 (Giddens 2001). The Black Report, was commissioned by the government to look at data on health inequalities and to make recommendation for policy and research, which focused largely on materialist explanation of health inequality. The report emphasised the need for an all- inclusive anti-poverty policy and for improvement in education in order to reduce health inequalities (Macintyre 1997). Studies show that poverty can be bad for your health. Areas of the country with above average numbers of people dying young, that is before 65, are generally poor urban areas. Glasgow, London and many of the biggest cities in the North of England stand out in particular. Suicide rates amongst young men are four times higher amongst those with no known occupation compared to those in Social Class 1. People on low incomes are more likely to suffer episodes of serious depression. (BBC News 1999) In a speech on 27 March 1977 the then Secretary of State for Social Services stated: à ¢Ã¢â ¬Ã ¦.. The crude differences in mortality rates between the various social classes are worrying. To take the extreme example, in 1971 the death rate for adult men in social class V (unskilled workers) was nearly twice that of adult men in social class I (professional workers) even when account has been taken of the different age structure of the 2 classes. When you look at death rates for specific diseases the gap is even wider. For examples for tuberculosis the death rate in social class V is 10 times that for social class I; for bronchitis it was 5 times as high and for lung cancer and stomach cancer 3 times as high. Social class differences in mortality begin at birth. In 1971 neo-natal death rates deaths within the first month of life were twice as high for the children of fathers in social class V as they were in social class I. Death rates for the post-neo-natal period from one month up to one year were nearly 5 times higher in social class V than in social class I à ¢Ã¢â ¬Ã ¦ The first step towards remedial action is to put together what is already known about the problem à ¢Ã¢â ¬Ã ¦ it is a major challenge for the next 10 or more years to try to narrow the gap in health standards between different social classes. Many cultures have different health and cultural beliefs such as in the Asian ethnic groups believe that the extended family have influence on individuals; the oldest male is the decision maker and spokesman. Stacy (1988) stated that various cultural social and economic factors all of which have their own roots in the eighteenth century Biomedical is one of the ways to understanding health and illness in the western cultures, but also being accepted not only by doctors but also by none professional. There is general agreement among contributors that there are a number of important characteristics Nettleton (1995.5) describes some examples these being Mid -body dualism which is accepting that the mind and the body can be treated with two different things, Mechanical metaphor looks at the theory of which that the body is a machine, Biomedical is described as reductionist in that there are tendency to reduce all explanations to the physical working of the body. All cultures have a known concept of physical health and illness, but most of what is recognized as medicine is a consequence of development in western society over the past three centuries. Premodern cultures, the family was the main institution coping with illness and disease. There have always been people who believe that you can be healed by different remedi es such as physical and magical in the non- western cultures throughout the world (Giddens 2001). The Bio-medical model there are three main theorys on why the bio-medical model of health is predicted. First disease is seen as a breakdown within the human body that diverts it from its normal state of being The germ theory of disease, second is the mind and body are able to be treated separately and the third being doctors who have been trained and are experts in treating illness and disease (Giddens 2001). Critics to this model say that the effectiveness of scientific medicine overrated. In spite of the prestige that modern medicine has acquired, improvement in overall health can be attributed far more too social and environmental changes than to medical skill. Effective sanitation, better nutrition and improved sewerage and hygiene were more influential particularly in reducing the rates of infant deaths and young people (Mc Keown 1979). Other critics like Ivan Illich (1976) states that modern medicine has done more harm than good.
Wednesday, September 4, 2019
The Clear Message of The Bluest Eye :: Bluest Eye Essays
The Clear Message of The Bluest Eye The Bluest Eye fits into our study of the American novel because it tells the story of a group of Americans, men and women and children who are descendants of slaves, and live in a society where, even though many people deny it, the color of your skin determines who you are and what privileges you are entitled to. I think that Morrison does a wonderful job of telling a story that is real, that makes the reader feel something, and that makes the reader relate, regardless of your skin color. I cannot say that I can relate to what it must have felt like for Pecola to be called a "a nasty little black bitch" and accused of killing a cat when she did nothing. But, I can say that I know what it is like to feel ugly and scared. Pecola is an extreme example of a person who is treated horribly by everyone she encounters, whether it is because she is black or ugly or both. Her mother ignores her, her father rapes her, her friends betray her, little boys and girls and adults call her names, and even a cat and a dog are killed in her presence. All of these things are experienced by people all of the time, however, it might not be as extreme or it might just be one or two of the things. Something that seems as trivial as name calling is something that happens to all Americans. Morrison takes American experiences and characteristics, such as violence, growing up, love, family, hatred, race, beauty and ugliness, and illustrates them in a way that is so clear, yet so painful. These American experiences are not covered up or toned down to seem less serious; they are real and they are heart-breaking. Every one of Morrison's characters can be related to in one way or another because they are Americans and they are human. I think that Morrison sums up how The Bluest Eye impacted me in the following quote: "So it was with confidence, strengthened by pity and pride, that we decided to change the course of events and alter a human life" (191).
Tuesday, September 3, 2019
the bill of rights :: essays research papers
Through out the history of the United State of America many events have been seen and passed, all to leave their mark with our nation. As time ages people change along with our government. Many of these changes occur in our government affect our daily lives. Impacts of these severities are a direct result of our ever changing Amendments, which our Founding Fathers layed apon us. The Constitution said by many to have "stood the test of time" has lasted through many centuries through the use of the ever flexible amendments. During the earlier eras of the United States of America, few had hope in the idea of a government with a central power in the thoughts of the confederates. Although time in and time out this idea seems to be banished within the shadows of the proven government. The constitution changing frequently in order to adapt to quickness americcan life. By the use of amendments the Bill of rights are extended and modified to mold and shape to the society and its nearby surrounding. Ideas conveying the change include the thirtenth Amendment which put an end to slavery and all of its extensions in eigthteen sixty five. The southern states of the nation were allowed to enforce unwilling labor at little or no cost at all to the owners. By the end of the inhuman tradition suggested the nation was snowballing into revolution of change which allowed the government prove their ability to keep current with society. Along with the gaining of Blacks rights and the abolishment of slavery came the gra nted right of voting. Black citizens were bared from voting until late eighteen seventies. The fifteenth amendment offically proctected the Black man right to vote and also allowed congress to "pass laws needed to enforce this amendment." Clearly one is able to view the Constitutions ability to mend the Bill of rights with amendments to grant a viable form of justice. Blod manuvers from the governmnet, has displayed to the society as well as the nation, protection is granted to where is most important. Our granted rights changing in time. Recent periods of evolution and application of our Civil constitution does not date far into our nations history. Amendments have altered the way inwhich citizens vote and gain the ability to vote. In the early nineteen seventies an age of eighteen years old was set to allow one to cast their vote in natioal, state, and local elections. the bill of rights :: essays research papers Through out the history of the United State of America many events have been seen and passed, all to leave their mark with our nation. As time ages people change along with our government. Many of these changes occur in our government affect our daily lives. Impacts of these severities are a direct result of our ever changing Amendments, which our Founding Fathers layed apon us. The Constitution said by many to have "stood the test of time" has lasted through many centuries through the use of the ever flexible amendments. During the earlier eras of the United States of America, few had hope in the idea of a government with a central power in the thoughts of the confederates. Although time in and time out this idea seems to be banished within the shadows of the proven government. The constitution changing frequently in order to adapt to quickness americcan life. By the use of amendments the Bill of rights are extended and modified to mold and shape to the society and its nearby surrounding. Ideas conveying the change include the thirtenth Amendment which put an end to slavery and all of its extensions in eigthteen sixty five. The southern states of the nation were allowed to enforce unwilling labor at little or no cost at all to the owners. By the end of the inhuman tradition suggested the nation was snowballing into revolution of change which allowed the government prove their ability to keep current with society. Along with the gaining of Blacks rights and the abolishment of slavery came the gra nted right of voting. Black citizens were bared from voting until late eighteen seventies. The fifteenth amendment offically proctected the Black man right to vote and also allowed congress to "pass laws needed to enforce this amendment." Clearly one is able to view the Constitutions ability to mend the Bill of rights with amendments to grant a viable form of justice. Blod manuvers from the governmnet, has displayed to the society as well as the nation, protection is granted to where is most important. Our granted rights changing in time. Recent periods of evolution and application of our Civil constitution does not date far into our nations history. Amendments have altered the way inwhich citizens vote and gain the ability to vote. In the early nineteen seventies an age of eighteen years old was set to allow one to cast their vote in natioal, state, and local elections.
Monday, September 2, 2019
The Personification of an Educator Essay -- Education Teaching Teacher
The Personification of an Educator In modern society, a high-quality education is imperative to the well being of those within that society. An essential part of a high-quality education is the function of the teacher in the classroom. How a teacher functions within a classroom determines how students learn, what students learn, and how they apply that which they have learned. Therefore, because I am seeking a profession in the field of education, I think I must consider the nature of students, the nature of knowledge, the value of an education, the techniques that I will be using in my classroom, the curriculum, and my future goals as an educator because by doing so I improve my abilities and performance as an educator. First, as a future educator I must consider the nature of my future students. Contrary to some historical beliefs I do not believe that children are born evil; rather, I believe that children are born good with a curiosity and a desire to learn and interact with the world around them. I think students can learn and will learn if given the opportunity. Furthermore, as a future instructor, I must consider the nature of knowledge. It is my opinion that the nature of knowledge is relatively constructed and dependent upon person, place, and time. The nature of knowledge is proportional because the information we acquire and retain is dependent largely upon the individual instructing, the environment in which we are being taught, whether it be too hot or too cold, and the time in which we are taught whether we are sick, hungry, etc. Contrary to absolutism, extenuating circumstances must be taken into consideration when evaluating the nature of knowledge. Followi... ...sion, because an education is so fundamental in todayââ¬â¢sââ¬â¢ society, as a future educator it is my goal to provide my students with an optimal level of education. I desire to be the personification of an educator. In order to be the best that I can be I think I must consider the nature of students, the nature of knowledge, the significance of an education, the various techniques I will use in my classroom, and the curriculum that will be taught. I also believe that I must consider my own educational goals. Upon consideration of these various things, I enhance my knowledge of my students, my career, the world, and myself. After all, by doing so I increase my overall potential academically, socially, and most importantly professionally. Becoming a teacher has been my life long dream; therefore, I desire to become the most excellent teacher that I can achievable be.
Sunday, September 1, 2019
ICT and society portfolio section Essay
Microsoft word Microsoft Word is a word processor program from Microsoft. It was originally written by Richard Brodie for IBM PC computers running DOS in 1983. Later versions were created for the Apple Macintosh (1984), SCO UNIN, and Microsoft Windows (1989). It became part of the Microsoft Office. Microsoft word is a software package which can be used for school work, course work, home work or personal work such as making posters or fliers. So it is extremely useful, especially if you have untidy handwriting because Microsoft word can improve your presentation not only by improving your writing but also can improve presentation by adding pictures, this can be done using a feature called clipart which allows me too insert pictures to my work. Another good point about this is that it has a feature called spell check, which is handy if you are bad at spelling because if you spelt a word wrong then it will either automatically correct it or show you a list of words to help you. The only bad point about spell check is that it doesnââ¬â¢t recognise every word and that sometimes it uses the American spelling of words. Other god points include the fact that if you are doing something such as an essay or coursework which requires a lot of writing because you can easily change your w ords if you make a mistake whereas if you were writing it out by hand then you would have to rewrite everything from the beginning. Microsoft Excel Excel 2003 enables you to turn data into information with powerful tools to analyze, communicate, and share results. Excel 2003 can help you work better in teams, and help protect and control access to your work. In addition, you can work with industry-standard Extensible Mark-up Language (NML) data to make it easier to connect to business processes. Just like Microsoft word, excel is a software package which can be used for school work, course work, home work or personal work. Mostly excel is used in businessââ¬â¢ in order to keep track of financial status and to record data required to run a business. The good points about Microsoft excel is that you can use features such as auto sum which allows you to quickly and easily count up numbers, another feature is the graph function which allows you to create graphs easily, the graphs make the figures easier to understand and improves presentation. Microsoft access Microsoft Access is a relational database management system from Microsoft, packaged with Microsoft Office Professional. Microsoft Access can use data stored in Access/Jet, Microsoft SQL Server, Oracle, or any ODBC-compliant data container. Skilled software developers and data architects use it to develop powerful, complen application software. Relatively unskilled programmers and non-programmer ââ¬Å"power usersâ⬠can use it to build simple applications without having to deal with features they donââ¬â¢t understand. Microsoft Access was also the name of a communications program from Microsoft, meant to compete with ProComm and other programs. This Microsoft Access proved a failure and was dropped. Years later Microsoft reused the name for its database software. Microsoft access is normally used in areas such as hospitals in order to keep a record of all the patients. Another area where databases are used is in buissnessââ¬â¢ in order to keep track of financial staus and contacts. Microsoft PowerPoint Microsoft publisher Microsoft Publisher is a desktop publishing application from Microsoft. This program helps you easily create, customize, and publish materials such as newsletters, brochures, flyers, catalogs, and Web sites. It is very neat and tidy and improves presentation. People who work in the advertising industry might find publisher very useful because it is very quick and easy to use.
The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 22 FLIGHT
DEMETRI LEFT US IN THE CHEERFULLY OPULENT RECEPTION area, where the woman Gianna was still at her post behind the polished counter. Bright, harmless music tinkled from hidden speakers. ââ¬Å"Do not leave until dark,â⬠he warned us. Edward nodded, and Demetri hurried away. Gianna did not seem at all surprised by the exchange, though she did eye Edward's borrowed cloak with shrewd speculation. ââ¬Å"Are you all right?â⬠Edward asked under his breath, to low for the human woman to hear. His voice was roughif velvet can be roughwith anxiety. Still stressed by our situation, I imagined. ââ¬Å"You'd better make her sit before she falls,â⬠Alice said. ââ¬Å"She's going to pieces.â⬠It was only then that I realize I was shaking, shaking hard, my entire frame vibrating until my teeth chattered and the room around me seemed to wobble and blur in my eyes. For one wild second, I wondered if this was how Jacob felt just before exploding into a werewolf. I heard a sound that didn't make sense, a strange, ripping counterpart to the otherwise cheery background music. Distracted by the shaking, I couldn't tell where it was coming from. ââ¬Å"Shh, Bella, shh,â⬠Edward said as he pulled me to the sofa farthest away from the curious human at the desk. ââ¬Å"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her,â⬠Alice suggested. Edward threw a frantic glance at her. Then I understood. Oh. The noise was me. The ripping sound was the sobs coming from my chest. That's what was shaking me. ââ¬Å"It's all right, you're safe, it's all right,â⬠he chanted again and again. He pulled ne onto his lap and tucked the thick wool cloak around me, protecting me from his cold skin. I knew it was stupid to react like this. Who knew how much time I had to look at his race? He was saved, and I was saved, and he could leave me as soon as we were free. To have my eyes so filled with tears that I could not see his features clearly was wastefulinsanity. But, behind my eyes where the tears could not wash the image away, I could still see the panicked face of the tiny woman with the rosary. ââ¬Å"All those people,â⬠I sobbed. ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"It's so horrible.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes, it is. I wish you hadn't had to see that.â⬠I rested my head against his cold chest, using the thick cloak to wipe my eyes. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. ââ¬Å"Is there anything I can get you?â⬠a voice asked politely. It was Gianna, leaning over Edward's shoulder with a look that was both concerned and yet still professional and detached at the same time. It didn't seem to bother her that her face was inches from a hostile vampire. She was either totally oblivious, or very good at her job. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠Edward answered coldly. She nodded, smiled at me, and then disappeared. I waited until she was out of hearing range. ââ¬Å"Does she know what's going on here?â⬠I demanded, my voice low and hoarse. I was getting control of myself, my breathing evening out. ââ¬Å"Yes. She knows everything,â⬠Edward told me. ââ¬Å"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?â⬠ââ¬Å"She's knows it's a possibility,â⬠he said. That surprised me. Edward's face was hard to read. ââ¬Å"She's hoping they'll decide to keep her.â⬠I felt the blood leave my face. ââ¬Å"She wants to be one of them?â⬠He nodded once, his eyes sharp on my face, watching my reaction. I shuddered. ââ¬Å"How can she want that?â⬠I whispered, more to myself than really looking for an answer. ââ¬Å"How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of that?â⬠Edward didn't answer. His expression twisted in response to something I'd said. As I stared at his too beautiful face, trying to understand the change, it suddenly struck me that I was really here, in Edward's arms, however fleetingly, and that we were notat this exact momentabout to be killed. ââ¬Å"Oh, Edward,â⬠I cried, and I was sobbing again. It was such a stupid reaction. The tears were too thick for me to see his face again, and that was inexcusable. I only had until sunset for sure. Like a fairy tale again, with deadlines that ended the magic. ââ¬Å"What's wrong?â⬠he asked, still anxious, rubbing my back with gentle pats. I wrapped my arms around his neckwhat was the worst he could do? Just push me awayand hugged myself closer to him. ââ¬Å"Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?â⬠I asked. My voice broke twice. He didn't push me away. He pulled me tight against his ice-hard chest, so tight it was hard to breathe, even with my lungs securely intact. ââ¬Å"I know exactly what you mean,â⬠he whispered. ââ¬Å"But we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠I agreed. ââ¬Å"That's a good one.â⬠ââ¬Å"And together,â⬠he breathed. His breath was so sweet it made my head swim. I just nodded, sure that he did not place the same weight on that consideration as I did. ââ¬Å"And, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hopefully,â⬠I said uneasily. ââ¬Å"The outlook is quite good,â⬠Alice assured me. She'd been so quiet, I'd almost forgotten her presence. ââ¬Å"I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours,â⬠she added in a satisfied tone. Lucky Alice. She could trust her future. I couldn't keep my eyes off of Edward's face for long. I stared at him, wishing more than anything that the future would never happen. That this moment would last forever, or, if it couldn't, that I would stop existing when it did. Edward stared right back at me, his dark eyes soft, and it was easy to pretend that he felt the same way. So that's what I did. I pretended, to make the moment sweeter. His fingertips traced the circles under my eyes. ââ¬Å"You look so tired.â⬠ââ¬Å"And you look thirsty,â⬠I whispered back, studying the purple bruises under his black irises. He shrugged. ââ¬Å"It's nothing.â⬠ââ¬Å"Are you sure? I could sit with Alice,â⬠I offered, unwilling; I'd rather he killed me now than move one inch from where I was. ââ¬Å"Don't be ridiculous.â⬠He sighed; his sweet breath caressed my face. ââ¬Å"I've never been in better control of that side of my nature than right now.â⬠I had a million questions for him. One of them bubbled to my lips now, but I held my tongue. I didn't want to ruin the moment, as imperfect as it was, here in this room that made me sick, under the eyes of the would-be monster. Here in his arms, it was so easy to fantasize that he wanted me. I didn't want to think about his motivations nowabout whether he acted this way to keep me calm while we were still in danger, or if he just felt guilty for where we were and relieved that he wasn't responsible for my death. Maybe the time apart had been enough that I didn't bore him for the moment. But it didn't matter. I was so much happier pretending. I lay quiet in his arms, re-memorizing his face, pretending He stared at my face like he was doing the same, while he and Alice discussed how to get home. Their voices were so quick and low that I knew Gianna couldn't understand. I missed half of it myself. It sounded like more theft would be involved, though. I wondered idly if the yellow Porsche had made it back to its owner yet. ââ¬Å"What was all that talk about singers?â⬠Alice asked at one point. ââ¬Å"La tua cantante,â⬠Edward said. His voice made the words into music. ââ¬Å"Yes, that,â⬠Alice said, and I concentrated for a moment. I'd wondered about that, too, at the time. I felt Edward shrug around me. ââ¬Å"They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my singerbecause her blood sings for me.â⬠Alice laughed. I was tired enough to sleep, but I fought against the weariness. I wasn't going to miss a second of the time I had with him. Now and then, as he talked with Alice, he would lean down suddenly and kiss mehis glass-smooth lips brushing against my hair, my forehead, the tip of my nose. Each time it was like an electric shock to my long dormant heart. The sound of its beating seemed to fill the entire room. It was heavenright smack in the middle of hell. I lost track of the time completely. So when Edward's arms tightened around me, and both he and Alice looked to the back of the room with wary eyes, I panicked. I cringed into Edward's chest as Alechis eyes now a vivid ruby, but still spotless in his light gray suit despite the afternoon mealwalked through the double doors. It was good news. ââ¬Å"You're free to leave now,â⬠Alec told us, his tone so warm you'd think we were all lifelong friends. ââ¬Å"We ask that you don't linger in the city.â⬠Edward made no answering pretence; his voice was ice cold. ââ¬Å"That won't be a problem.â⬠Alec smiled, nodded, and disappeared again. ââ¬Å"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators,â⬠Gianna told us as Edward helped me to my feet. ââ¬Å"The lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. Goodbye, now,â⬠she added pleasantly. I wondered if her competence would be enough to save her. Alice shot her a dark look. I was relieved there was another way out; I wasn't sure if I could handle another tour through the underground. We left through a tastefully luxurious lobby. I was the only one who glanced back at the medieval castle that housed the elaborate business facade I couldn't see the turret from here, for which I was grateful. The party was still in full swing in the streets. The street lamps were just coming on as we walked swiftly through the narrow, cobbled lanes. The sky was a dull, fading gray overhead, but the buildings crowded the streets so closely that it felt darker. The party was darker, too. Edward's long, trailing cloak did not stand out in the way it might have on a normal evening in Volterra. There were others in black satin cloaks now, and the plastic fangs I'd seen on the child in the square today seemed to be very popular with the adults. ââ¬Å"Ridiculous,â⬠Edward muttered once. I didn't notice when Alice disappeared from beside me. I looked over to ask her a question, and she was gone. ââ¬Å"Where's Alice?â⬠I whispered in a panic. ââ¬Å"She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning.â⬠I'd forgotten that I had access to a toothbrush. It brightened my outlook considerably. ââ¬Å"She's stealing a car, too, isn't she?â⬠I guessed. He grinned. ââ¬Å"Not till we're outside.â⬠It seemed like a very long way to the entryway. Edward could see that I was spent; he wound his arm around my waist and supported most of my weight as we walked. I shuddered as he pulled me through the dark stone archway. The huge, ancient portcullis above was like a cage door, threatening to drop on us, to lock us in. He led me toward a dark car, waiting in a pool of shadow to the right of the gate with the engine running. To my surprise, he slid into the backseat with me, instead of insisting on driving. Alice was apologetic. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry.â⬠She gestured vaguely toward the dashboard. ââ¬Å"There wasn't much to choose from.â⬠ââ¬Å"It's fine, Alice.â⬠He grinned. ââ¬Å"They can't all be 911 Turbos.â⬠She sighed. ââ¬Å"I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'll get you one for Christmas,â⬠Edward promised. Alice turned to beam at him, which worried me, as she was already speeding down the dark and curvy hillside at the same time. ââ¬Å"Yellow,â⬠she told him. Edward kept me tight in his arms. Inside the gray cloak, I was warm and comfortable. More than comfortable. ââ¬Å"You can sleep now, Bella,â⬠he murmured. ââ¬Å"It's over.â⬠I knew he meant the danger, the nightmare in the ancient city, but I still had to swallow hard before I could answer. ââ¬Å"I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired.â⬠Just the second part was a lie. I wasn't about to close my eyes. The car was only dimly lit by the dashboard controls, but it was enough that I could see his face. He pressed his lips to the hollow under my ear. ââ¬Å"Try,â⬠he encouraged. I shook my head. He sighed. ââ¬Å"You're still just as stubborn.â⬠I was stubborn; I fought with my heavy lids, and I won. The dark road was the hardest part; the bright lights at the airport in Florence made it easier, as did the chance to brush my teeth and change into clean clothes; Alice bought Edward new clothes, too, and he left the dark cloak on a pile of trash in an alley. The plane trip to Rome was so short that there wasn't really a chance for the fatigue to drag me under. I knew the flight from Rome to Atlanta would be another matter entirely, so I asked the flight attendant if she could bring me a Coke. ââ¬Å"Bella,â⬠Edward said disapprovingly. He knew my low tolerance for caffeine. Alice was behind us. I could hear her murmuring to Jasper on the phone. ââ¬Å"I don't want to sleep,â⬠I reminded him. I gave him an excuse that was believable because it was true. ââ¬Å"If I close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares.â⬠He didn't argue with me after that. It would have been a very good time to talk, to get the answers I neededneeded but not really wanted; I was already despairing at the thought of what I might hear. We had an uninterrupted block of tirre ahead of us, and he couldn't escape me on an airplanewell, not easily, at least. No one would hear us except Alice; it was late, and most of the passengers were turning off lights and asking for pillows in muted voices. Talk would help me fight off the exhaustion. But, perversely, I bit my tongue against the flood of questions. My reasoning was probably flawed by exhaustion, but I hoped that by postponing the discussion, I could buy a few more hours with him at some later timespin this out for another night, Scheherazade-style. So I kept drinking soda, and resisting even the urge to blink. Edward seemed perfectly content to hold me in his arms, his fingers tracing my face again and again. I touched his face, too. I couldn't stop myself, though I was afraid it would hurt me later, when I was alone again. He continued to kiss my hair, my forehead, my wrists but never my lips, and that was good. After all, how many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating? I'd lived through a lot that should have finished me in the last few days, but it didn't make me feel strong. Instead, I felt horribly fragile, like one word could shatter me. Edward didn't speak. Maybe he was hoping I would sleep. Maybe he had nothing to say. I won the fight against my heavy lids. I was awake when we reached the airport in Atlanta, and I even watched the sun beginning to rise over Seattle's cloud cover before Edward slid the window shut. I was proud of myself. I hadn't missed one minute. Neither Alice nor Edward was surprised by the reception that waited for us at Sea-Tac airport, but it caught me off guard. Jasper was the first one I sawhe didn't seem to see me at all. His eyes were only for Alice. She went quickly to his side; they didn't embrace like other couples meeting there. They only stared into each other's faces, yet, somehow, the moment was so private that I still felt the need to look away. Carlisle and Esme waited in a quiet corner far from the line for the metal detectors, in the shadow of a wide pillar. Esme reached for me, hugging me fiercely, yet awkwardly, because Edward kept his arms around me, too. ââ¬Å"Thank you so much,â⬠she said in my ear. Then she threw her arms around Edward, and she looked like she would be crying if that were possible. ââ¬Å"Youwill never put me through :hat again,â⬠she nearly growled. Edward grinned, repentant. ââ¬Å"Sorry, Mom.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thank you, Bella,â⬠Carlisle said. ââ¬Å"We owe you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hardly,â⬠I mumbled. The sleepless night was suddenly overpowering. My head felt disconnected from my body. ââ¬Å"She's dead on her feet,â⬠Esme scolded Edward. ââ¬Å"Let's get her home.â⬠Not sure if home was what I wanted at this point, I stumbled, half-blind, through the airport, Edward dragging me on one side and Esme on the other. I didn't know if Alice and Jasper were behind us or not, and I was too exhausted to look. I think I was mostly asleep, though I was still walking, when we reached their car. The surprise of seeing Emmett and Rosalie leaning against the black sedan under the dim lights of the parking garage revived me some. Edward stiffened. ââ¬Å"Don't,â⬠Esme whispered. ââ¬Å"She feels awful.â⬠ââ¬Å"She should,â⬠Edward said, making no attempt to keep his voice down. ââ¬Å"It's not her fault,â⬠I said, my words garbled with exhaustion. ââ¬Å"Let her make amends,â⬠Esme pleaded. ââ¬Å"We'll ride with Alice and Jasper.â⬠Edward glowered at the absurdly lovely blond vampire waiting for us. ââ¬Å"Please, Edward,â⬠I said. I didn't want to ride with Rosalie any more than he seemed to, but I'd caused more than enough discord in his family. He sighed, and towed me toward the car. Emmett and Rosalie got in the front seat without speaking, while Edward pulled me in the back again. I knew I wasn't going to be able to fight my eyelids anymore, and I laid my head against his chest in defeat, letting them close. I felt the car purr to life. ââ¬Å"Edward,â⬠Rosalie began. ââ¬Å"I know.â⬠Edward's brusque tone was not generous. ââ¬Å"Bella?â⬠Rosalie asked softly. My eyelids fluttered open in shock. It was the first time she'd ever spoken directly to me. ââ¬Å"Yes, Rosalie?â⬠I asked, hesitant. ââ¬Å"I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did. Please say you'll forgive me.â⬠The words were awkward, stilted because of her embarrassment, but they seemed sincere. ââ¬Å"Of course, Rosalie,â⬠I mumbled, grasping at any chance to make her hate me a little less. ââ¬Å"It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you.â⬠The words came out like mush. ââ¬Å"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose,â⬠Emmett chuckled. ââ¬Å"I'm conscious,â⬠I said; it just sounded like a garbled sigh. ââ¬Å"Let her sleep,â⬠Edward insisted, but his voice was a little warmer. It was quiet then, except for the gentle thrum of the engine. I must have fallen asleep, because it seemed like seconds later when the door opened and Edward was carrying me from the car. My eyes wouldn't open. At first I thought we were still at the airport. And then I heard Charlie. ââ¬Å"Bella!â⬠he shouted from some distance. ââ¬Å"Charlie,â⬠I mumbled, trying to shake off the stupor. ââ¬Å"Shh,â⬠Edward whispered. ââ¬Å"It's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep.â⬠ââ¬Å"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here.â⬠Charlie bellowed at Edward, his voice much closer now. ââ¬Å"Stop it, Dad,â⬠I groaned. He didn't hear me. ââ¬Å"What's wrong with her?â⬠Charlie demanded. ââ¬Å"She's just very tired, Charlie,â⬠Edward assured him quietly. ââ¬Å"Please let her rest.â⬠ââ¬Å"Don't tell me what to do!â⬠Charlie yelled. ââ¬Å"Give her to me. Get your hands off her!â⬠Edward tried to pass me to Charlie, but I clung to him with locked, tenacious fingers. I could feel my dad yanking on my arm. ââ¬Å"Cut it out, Dad,â⬠I said with more volume. I managed to drag my lids back to stare at Charlie with bleary eyes. ââ¬Å"Be mad at me.â⬠We were in front of my house. The front door was standing open. The cloud cover overhead was too thick to guess at a time of day. ââ¬Å"You bet I will be,â⬠Charlie promised. ââ¬Å"Get inside.â⬠i'â⬠Kay. Let me down,â⬠I sighed. Edward set me on my feet. I could see that I was upright, but I couldn't feel my legs. I trudged forward anyway, until the sidewalk swirled up toward my face. Edward's arms caught me before I hit the concrete. ââ¬Å"Just let me get her upstairs,â⬠Edward said. ââ¬Å"Then I'll leave.â⬠ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I cried, panicking. I hadn't got my answers yet. He had to stay for at least that much, didn't he? ââ¬Å"I won't be far,â⬠Edward promised, whispering so low in my ear that Charlie didn't have a hope of hearing. I didn't hear Charlie answer, but Edward headed into the house. My open eyes only made it till the stairs. The last thing I felt was Edward's cool hands prying my fingers loose from his shirt.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)